Old haunts are starting to pop up.  Things that I thought I had buried and forgotten are coming to light in all sorts of nasty ways.  Someone told me to be vulnerable.  Fuck that shit.  Never.  Especially face to face.  I am seeking out therapy soon.  So I guess never isn't really never.  It's funny how someone can show you things that you want but never wanted to admit.  What an ass hat.  So yes I'm struggling right now.  Yes it's some battles I thought I had won but really just ran from.  Yes I'm hurting.  Mentally, emotionally and physically.  I've started having the thoughts while driving again.  I've started saying goodbye again.  I wonder if this is something I'll always struggle with?  Probably yes, because the other side of that would be no...but probably not in a way that is good....

In other news tomorrow is Powwow.  Seven Arrows at Boise State University.  I wasn't going to go because let's be honest I haven't helped out at all but what the hell, I need some drum.  

My body hurts.  Bed I go.

Warrior on.