Oh so long. Sorry everyone (2 readers??) I've been super busy being a hot mess and kinda finding myself and Jesus on a daily basis.
Drinking a sleepy time blend after losing my ass on candy crush after a long as day at work.
Work isn't what it used to be. I used to get annoyed with my co-workers but love my job. Now I mostly love my co-workers and hate my job.
Every second of every day I crave the unknown. I crave adventure in the forms of fresh air, green trees, seeing something everyday so beautiful my breath is stolen away, learning new things, and love in the moonlight.
Tonight was a super moon eclipse!! It's my first time seeing an eclipse and I'll be honest with you, it rocked my world. Tonight my craving for a breathless moment was answered.
I love how huge events happen in your life and they mean so much and you're never sure if you'll ever get over it, until one day...it doesn't mean anything. Not the day you lose someone and find out what life isn't really about, I'm talking those feelings you think you have and really you just need to eat a sandwich. I giggle now, even though I'll probably do it again sometime in life. Hopefully not, cause it's a waste of time and emotions.
I realize that people love in different ways, not fully, but to an extent. Sometimes though meet me where I need you to be. I'd give you anything. I give more than I have to those I love, I probably always will, but I need you to be there, don't push, be gentle. I'm not as strong as I think I am.
I'm going to be spending a lot of time by myself for a little bit. I need to examine things and try to figure it out enough that I don't watch myself cry. The tears seem more honest and desperate than they have before.
There's this woman that's kind of stole my heart. I look at her and am in awe. We don't see each other very much anymore, cause life is getting in the way, but she always seems to stitch me up where I've been torn. She's unfailingly generous and funny without trying. She tells me when I'm being silly and listens to me talk about things she doesn't believe in. She moves me to be better, to try harder, to spin more colors.
I miss her.
I'm finally getting sleepy so I'll close with this. Your story is what grips me. Never lie to me. Cliche saying but when you think about it for a bit longer than you really should it makes you grin; star shine brightest at night. Let's change it to; stars are brightest when they're surrounded by darkness.
Warrior on.
