As most of you know by now, I'm a ranter.  I get stuck on something for about a day and just can't seem to get off of it.  Last night I had an epiphany. I choose.  I choose what you see of me, I choose what you know of me, and I damn well choose how I live my life.  

We all have trauma from our past (ALL) it just takes different forms.  Yes I have a prejudice against privileged spoiled rotten teenagers driving around in their 40k cars not having to worry about a thing, but I'm working on it, and I only see what they want me to see.  I don't have the advantage of seeing behind the curtain...

I'm sick of hearing phrases like 'she's this way because of this..."  Maybe the simpler solution is to not give a fuck about the because and just appreciate the difference.  It took me a long time to realize that I'm such a better person for growing up without than I would have growing up with.  This statement could be the exact opposite for a different person.  

For a long time I tried and succeeded for the most part in keeping my self safe and secure and locked down from everyone.  In doing so I had to sabotage myself, and now it's just out of control.  Guess what though, I'm in control!  Of myself and nothing else.  So the sabotage will end with a struggle to regain what is mine and I never want to hear 'she's this way because of this...' again.  The Creator gave us this heart and the core remains strong even if it gets chipped and dented along the way.

So fuck you evil world for trying to take me down.  Fuck you ignorant people putting me in your Freudian classifications, I'm tired of trying to live up to your standards and conform to your ideas of normality.  I see in rainbows.